Determination...

i am struggling right now with all that is going on in our lives. so many changes afoot, and i have yet to process through them. we went to our small group the other night and i got some fresh perspective on the whole "move." our pastor has been leading our group and he said some very encouraging things. one of which was (paraphrased, of course):

now that the decision has been made to move, embrace it fully and look forward to what God is going to do with you in your next season.

hmmm. good advice.

i have been wallowing in the loss. the loss of friendships that have taken time to forge. the loss of a phenomenal church body who has rallied around us like nobodies business. the loss of job. the loss of my SAHM status (i was really beginning to love that status!). just, the loss.

what i need to do is refocus on what HE has in store for us. new jobs, new (old) home, new (old) friendships, new schedules, new (old) bible studies.

renewed strength. renewed faith.

i am still at a loss for how i am going to manage homeschooling and a full-time job. three nights a week, sleep time, and managing a home are pretty much going to wipe me out. my KISA is awesome at helping out, but he has to work, too. this juggling act is going to feel like i am tossing up too many torches and if i drop one it is going to burn like the dickens.

but, i am determined.

determined that i will meet this season head-on. that we will continue homeschooling because it is our only choice. public school is NOT an option for us. it may not always be pretty. and we may not get out to do all the fun field trips that we wanted to do. and we may not get to do all the crafts and hands-on stuff we want to do. but we will do it. because i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

it doesn't say 'some' things. it says all things. and i believe our family has been called to be a home-educated family. so He will help me do this.

i am determined.

i just don't know what it is going to look like.