sheltering his heart

my heart is breaking for my dear little boy. 

the one who isn’t so little anymore.

the one who like to pour through any and all books.

he was looking through a collection of New York Times front pages today. it is a book his daddy got as a present several years ago.  it is truly fascinating to look through, and he does so often.

today, i heard him quietly crying from the downstairs. 

i called to him, and he said it was something he had to show me, he couldn’t explain.

i went down to him and he showed me a picture of a building that had been bombed.  below that graphic picture was a horrifying picture of a man holding a small child, not more than a few months old. 

the man was cradling a limp child and getting ready to hand the babe over to an EMS worker.

even in black and white it was evident there was blood on both the man and child.

and my own child had tears streaming down his face.

oh, that i could protect him from the terrors of this world.  that i could shelter him from the evil things that people do to each other.

but i cannot.  bad things happen.  our family will likely survive a tragedy of some sort.  probably not on such a grand scale, but a tragedy nonetheless. 

how do i prepare his young heart and mind to absorb it all? 

we don’t watch TV, they don’t see the news, and they rarely hear anything other than HisKids or audio books. 

but i still cannot protect him from everything.

i had to tell him that i was sorry he had to see that picture, but that bad things happen.  evil exists in this world because of the fall.  we live in a sinful world.

the good news, i told him, lies in Jesus Christ.  that He came to save us from our own sin, from our own selves.  He lived a sinless life, died a horrible death, and was resurrected by the Father God.  He now stands in the gap that sin created.  He spans that great chasm for us, so that we might stand before God and be free from the wrath that comes from our sinful lives.  He takes our place. 

my son doesn’t quite understand this yet.  he wants to mete out his own justice and seek revenge on the people who caused the death and destruction he saw in those images.  i can only pray that i will continue to be able to direct him gently and show him who God is and how Jesus can be his Savior. 

that and cry with him when his heart hurts so much he cannot even find words to speak what is on his heart. 

ordering the chaos...

amidst the chaos, we have been homeschooling for a few weeks now.  in reality, we are catching up on last year’s math, writing and language arts.  we never quite finished up our curriculum from the 2010 year, so, we are hitting it hard right now to get things “caught up” so to speak.

but, we are living in chaos.  i would take a picture of it, but let’s just say, if you showed up on my doorstep right now, i would come out on the porch to talk with you rather than let you in our home.

we are a mess!  every two weeks, i frantically clean for 2 solid days while we get the house ready for our small group.  and even then it isn’t that clean. the clutter is overtaking me! 

a lot of it stems from the inability of my children (and my husband, bless him) to put their things away when they are done with them.  and my inability to make them (the kids, not the hubby) . 

so we are embarking on a few new things to get the house cleaned up.  i am going to start training the kids to clean!  i know, i know.  this is not a new topic for most of you reading this (does anyone read this?)...but i guess i have always just done things myself because it is easier.

faster.

and i don’t have to redo anything (usually).

But... NO MORE!!

every month i will train each child on one age appropriate chore.  i think this is do-able.  rather than try to eat the whole darn elephant, ya know? that way, each child will be proficient in one chore each month and we will slowly build up responsibility in each of them.

a much needed character trait.

my character will be stretched also.  i have very little patience with my children when it comes to teaching them how to clean up after themselves.  i know that i am going to have to learn how to hold my tongue and not blow my top when they don’t do as i have instructed or if it needs to be done over. 

or if they decide to use the broom as a rifle and the sponge as a missile.

i have boys, remember?

and so, i am coming up with a short list of chores for the kids to do.  as i look around the house, the major areas of need are the kitchen, bathrooms and dining room.  no surprise as we do most of our schooling in the kitchen and dining room.  laundry is also a HUGE need as things collect in various piles: clean, unclean, folded but unfolded by moose, sorted and need to be put away, etc. 

i am still contemplating who is going to get what chores, but i thought i would share this for now. 

wish me luck!!

a day at the zoo

after a very quiet night of call (nothing after 9:30 pm) we took a much needed family day and headed to the zoo. not that everyone hasn’t seen pictures of the zoo before, i mean, who hasn’t seen turtles? but i wanted to share a few pics.

this was a huge egg in the petting zoo. the kids just about jumped into it!

then we saw something that you may not have ever seen, esp since there are only three of these in the United States.

it is an albino peacock! all except his eyes and one light blue feather on his neck. he was in the shade, so the pics did not turn out as nicely as i would have liked. it was awesome! apparently, there is a potential mate in a nearby zoo, but neither of the zoos will send there peacock to the other zoo. the parents of this lovely creature are still in the zoo, so they are hoping for another one someday. isn’t he gorgeous??

the naked mole rats had babies on their backs. kind of hard to see, but some of them were nursing! the kids were fascinated. and so was the KISA.

and last but not least, a pic of the moose and tic tac watching the otters. this one only has three legs. i cannot remember the story of how he lost his leg, but it hasn’t slowed him down at all.

it was a much needed day off for the whole family. we rarely get an opportunity to spend extended time together with our work schedules. i was so happy that our children got to see daddy and me holding hands and enjoying a day without trying to get out the door to another appt! it was a nice little slice of heaven!