the year

aww. crap.
i have done it again.
thought many times over about writing something.
composed a few in my head, even.
searched long and hard for an app that would work on blogger from my phone.
then kept on with daily life without posting a thing.
sigh.

so much has happened over the last year.
the stinkerbell got a diagnosis of Vocal Cord Dysfunction.
craziness, but controllable.
many kudos to the speech pathologist and ENT doctor who set us on the right path.
it was a long and tedious road, but we have finally mastered the trick to keeping the spasms under control.
finally!  (and there was much rejoicing!)

i went back to work full time, up from the prn routine. i forgot just how hard it is to work a full time job and homeschool and take care of the house and be a good wife and mom on top of it all.

we decided to move. two states away.
and we are moving in 6 weeks! eek.
ask me how many boxes i have packed.
two.

i have a final date at work. the kids have had their eyes checked. the dental appt is scheduled. the cat will get fixed (finally).

i am stressed.
i think we will just leave and no one's life will be interrupted.
have we been just a blip here? one day we are here, and then, gone. and no one will be different for us being in their lives.
i feel like i am a noncontributor to the lives around me.
i am sad thinking we won't be missed.
i am scared to death that i won't make friends where we move.
i am scared no one will like me.
that my coworkers will hate me.
that my husband's business plan will fail.
that we won't find a church.

Lord, have mercy. i am soooo caught up in the worry that i cannot enjoy the time i have left here.