Here. Now.

It has been such a long time since I put any thought to paper (blog). Several years, in fact. I don't even really know where to start, except with right now. The Here. Which is so flippin' scary. Life has thrown us so many curveballs, small and big, and we are just hitting foul balls left and right. We continue to homeschool, work, and try to have a home life of some kind. but it is just so difficult. What's on my mind, right NOW. Here? My feelings are hurt. Not because anyone hurt them, but because I let them be hurt. I desperately need a friend, a confidant. I thought I was doing ok in this department, but the friend that I thought I had just isn't as much in need of friendship as I am. Does that make sense? How pathetic is that. I would like to be that friend, the one who gets called when things get crazy, that brings the margaritas when someone else's sh*t hits the fan. But I find that I need someone to be THAT friend to me, not the other way around. But everyone else is so caught up in their own rotating blades that no one ever talks at all. Or drinks margaritas. This motherhood thing keeps getting harder and harder. Pretty soon all my chicks will be out of the nest, is that when I will have time to be a friend to someone and have someone befriend me? I can't wait that long.